I'm not pregnant. Good news I guess. I'm a little depressed though. I really want to have the babies. But then I want to have them with a certain person...who isn't here. I think one of my friends is though and that's good...ish. *sighs* I'm kinda bummed.

This Video is For Kristin I saw it and thought of her!

Yep Money posted...and I is a happy hoe!

Because I'm bored and going through all of Pash's old posts...and look what i found...BLAME PASH!!! I DEMAND IT!


Have you ever traveled by...

Car: Yes.
Land Rover: Yes.
Bus: Yep
Train: Yes.
Steam Engine: Yes!
Taxi: No.
Van: Yes.
Lorry/Truck:Yes.
Bicycle: Yes.
Skateboard: No.
Go Cart: once?
Unicycle: No.
Roller Blades/skates: Yes when I was a small child.
Speed Boat: Yes
Ferry: Yes.
River Boat: Not that I recall...but possibly as a baby.
Canal Boat: Yes.
Airplane: Yes.
Helicopter: Been in one...but never gone up, that I remember.
Horse: Yes.
Camal: Yes.
Traction Engines: No.
Tractors: Yes...:(
Ambulance: Yes.
Fire Engine: No.
Police Car: No.

Have you ever stayed over night in:

A Hotel: Yes.
A Motel: Yes.
A Bed and Breakfast: Yes.
A Bungelow: No.
A Cottage: No.
Student housing: Yes.
Halls of Residence: Yes.
A House boat: Yes.
A Ferry: No
A Caravan: Yes.
A Tent: Yes.
A Country House: Yes.
A Mansion: Yes.
Under the stars: Yes!

Have you ever owned a:

Cat: Yes
Dog: Yes
Rabbit: No.
Hamster: Yes.
Guinea Pig: Sadly yes...nasty little fuckers, those!
Bird: Yes.
Mouse: Yes.<3
Rat: YES. <3
Ant Farm: No.
Snake: No.


Have you ever been too:

Paris: No
London: No
Dublin: No
Glasgow: No
Rome: No
Florence: No
Venice:No
Berlin:No
New York: Yes
Washington: Yes
LA: No
Houston: Yes
Seattle: No
San Franscio: No
Niagra: No.
Sydney:No




Well that was a pointless exercise.

If you could cook for one person, who would it be and what would you serve? (Live Journal asks question now and then and this is one that interested me so just for shits and giggles...I did an LJ cut!! :-D

( the answer is... )


So that's that

I never post anymore...I'm not even sure why I have this things anyway...*shrugs*

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.

I just want to know:

Why are there men out here so noble as to take back a woman who has cheated on them...and ripped thier heats apart...why do they leave the woman they love most...breaking thier hearts...Why are there men out there so noble as to protect the one they love by pushing them away...and instead of inflicting their pain on others or putting it into thier work inflict it on themselves?

Why do they feel that no mater how good they are they are never good enough...why can't they understand that we do not wish for gods in men's clothing but instead crave the one who can be real...who is real...who we can feel is our equal...why can they not understand that they are not gods because of thier power but gods because the women they love, love them in return and make them such?

Why do men hurt us when all we want is to love them...some blame it on religion...some on self hatred...some on the woman...some on liquor...but it is none of those things it is the fact that when everything falls around them they feel like failures and they automatically want to get away from everything and everyone who has ever made them happy...they want to punish themselves...they no longer feel like the god they once were instead they feel like less then dirt and so they make everyone hurt too not realizing that the one they love the 'perfect' woman they think they have found is just as little as they...

When you hurt we hurt...when you cry we cry...when your heart is broken so is ours and we just want to be the bandage or the tissue or the pill that makes it better...why won't you let us be who you need us to be...you want to be the big man...the one who fixes everything...sometimes you need us to fix the problem...sometimes you need us to be who we are and co-mesh with the things you are trying to achieve...without us...you really are just...nothing...problem is...you know it!

So my fianl question is this...

Why don't you end the pain and do what's right by us?

I'm actually happy for once...my mind has been off of some of the more painful things in the past few days...i think i've justk inda burried it and forgotten...planted flowers over it would be a good metaphor...i'm going camping on thursday and i'll be back on Saturday...Lolo Kritin and some of thier freinds are going with me...I just wish Pash and i were talking...i'd love to tell him...we haven't spoken in too long...i'm afraid...never mind...I'm really glad i'm going camping though...fire...smores...hotdogs on sticks...drunkin fun with Kritin lol. YAY!!!

I'm working two jobs...the first at West..the second at Arbys...why do i work at Arby's?...because i have a warped sense of fun. yes i work at Arby's for fun...i don't actaully NEED the job, i only have it because i'm mad wit the monies...as Kat so cunningly put it. I'm sad...but i have no clue as to why. I keep feeling like something is missing...then i remember Pash and i aren't speaking...and i remember why i'm sad. He's a good guy...*shrugs* i don't know.

I'm sick of not being able to control my feelings. Of letting myself show around new people...especailly guys...I get so confused...I think they want one things then suddenly it's like...it's totally changed...it goes from being a comfortable inuendo to a strange joke that you don't get but happens to be on you...rather uncomfortable honestly. Sex is cool...it's a good thing, but when you go from...half naked an comfy to fully clothes and feeling dirty about everything that's happened because you realize you're not comfortable anymore...because everything has changed...and you can't figure out what...it's makes you realize...again...you really are just a whore. *shrugs* I always end up feeling that way...not sure why. My inner consious catching up to me for sacraficing small childr-- i mean animals...i mean stuffed animals...to satan. Must be it. But seriously...even when it's wasn't my fault...i felt like a whore...and not in a coolish kinda way...in the dirty bad person way. I hate to lie...but that's how it has to be...i can't be honest and get what i want...i've tried.